Scared

We leave in three days. I've spent the last month being a pathetic excuse for a mom, so that I could be a better mom in the future by making a living off of photography, and do you know what is going through my head right now? It goes something like this - "What IN THE WORLD are you thinking?!"

I'm scared out of my mind.

We are leaving Valencia because our café can't support us. We are leaving because I either look for a job here and put my kids in not-so-great day care, or go back and try to find a job. But we all know that finding a job right now is not easy, especially for a teacher who's teaching license has expired.  So, my bright idea was to start a photography business. I've put all of me into it. I've stayed up until 2 in the morning for the past 10 months. I haven't sat on the couch and watched a movie, read a book or knit a hat in 10 months. I have put every last thing I have into it, and now after lauching my website and my blog, most of my confidence is waning. I'm not good enough. No one wants me to take their photos. I am going to fall flat on my face. Like I feared. It's going to come true. It's already happening.

I am scared to leave here. I'm scared of all the humiliation that will come with failing.


I am just so scared.

Project 52 Week 3 - Warmth

This week for Project 52, a year long photography project I'm working on with 17 other talented photographers from The Bloom Forum, our theme was WARMTH. I bet you can think of a zillion things to do for "warmth" right. Yeah, me too. The first thing I think of, though, is two people cuddled up, and guess what?! I just happened to get an image of my friend, Christina, and her fiancé, Markus, all cuddled up and lovey-dovey, and as an added bonus, she's wearing a scarf.  We went for a photo session in the park with their daughter, Sarah, on Sunday afternoon. I'm pretty sure they thought it would mostly be pictures of Sarah, and were a little surprised when I turned it into a smootch fest. Look at the warm smiles on their faces, though. You  know they LOVED it.

Now go take a peek at what Shauna from Simply Shauna Photography has in store for us. That girl is ON FIRE! (Sorry, I couldn't resist.) ; )

B-Rad and his Girls

Last week I had the privelege to do a photoshoot with my friend, Bradford (I call him B-rad, and if I were him, I'd go by that all the time) and his two daughters, Julia and Anna. What fun we had, singing, and running and playing tag and Simon Says. Good times were had by all.

I'm so stoked at how these images turned out. I am in love with the light and the smiles, but most of all, I love the interaction between this family. It is apparent by looking at these images, just how much Bradford loves his girls, and how much they adore their daddy in return.
 

 B-rad, it's been fun. I hope you enjoy these photos as much as I do. See you sometime in the future... either back in Spain, or in the US. TAKE CARE and give those little girls big squeezes for me!

Love,
Sarah

Project 52 Week 2 - Shades of Red

Yay for week 2 of Project 52!!! If you aren't sure what the heck I'm talking about, click here to catch up to speed.

Should I tell you how much I struggled with this assigment? I think I should. I wanted to do something with lots of texture and different shades of red. I had it all pictured in my mind. It was going to blow you all away, it was so incredible. Unfortunately, though, reality won yet again. Grrr! I ran out of time, and I couldn't find that one amazing red, pink and orange explosion of textured brilliance.

So I went with it...

We spent most of our week at the beach this week, so I made sure Bella wore her red jacket and ruby slippers at all times, and this is what manifested...

I thought it turned out pretty cool.

Now, it's time to go check out what brilliance Shauna from Simply Shauna Photography will bedazzle us with.

See you next week!

Rub a Dub Dub

One of their favorite activities... Bath Time!!


Bella insists on putting toys on top of Julietta's head, and pouring water on her. Julietta is pretty fierce, though. She has learned quickly how to handle having a big sister. I have already caught myself saying to Arabella, "Bella, you aren't the boss." which was probably the sentence my parents used most often with me when I was growing up with a younger brother.

Here are some of my favorite images from their bath time a few days ago. I had quite a few pictures of them just sitting and looking at me, cute as can be, but those didn't make it into my favorites folder. I chose the images that really made me laugh or feel something, although maybe not technically perfect... the ones that told more of a story. Little by little my style is emerging.

Project 52 Week 1 - Self Portrait

I am so thrilled to announce that I am taking part in Project 52 with 16 other incredibly talented photographers!! Project 52 is a creative photography challenge. Each week for a year we get a new theme and all of us have to interpret the theme and then photograph it in our own unique way.  Each Friday we all post our images to our blogs and then link our blogs together so everyone can cycle through them and see all the amazing images by each photographer. Sounds cool, right? That's because it is.

This week's theme was THE DREADED SELF PORTRAIT. Ok, ok. You got me. I added the "dreaded" part in there. Never before had I realized how difficult self-portraits are. I had to do this while Julietta was in her stroller screetching at me the whole time. Half of the images came back blurry. I don't understand how to use my self timer on my DSLR without getting a bunch of blur. Anyway, this was what I came up with. I can pick it apart - my nose looks huge and I desperately need a hair cut, but this is me right now in my life. Big nosed with bad hair, wearing a sweatshirt and jeans. And because I couldn't choose between a bold contrasty black and white, or a softer processed image,  I went with both. I'm sneaky like that.

Now click yourself on over to see the gorgeous Shauna from Simply Shauna Photography. I'm quite certain she will knock your socks off with her talent and beauty.

Goodnight Irene

We said goodbye to Alex's sister, Irene, for a while. We don't know when we will be back in Spain, and since Irene can't leave the monastery, it's up to us to go see her again. I got so many images that I absolutely love on this trip. It doesn't hurt that the nuns are so sweet and playful. I always want to pick up Halel, the mother superior, and swing her around. She's the cutest thing you ever did see.

 Seeing Irene for the first time. This is what Bella does when she feels shy.

Un beso

On a nature walk. Bella is the leader, of course.

Julietta knows how to give kisses now.

Sunset and playing with Papá.

This is one of my favorite shots with Halel.

A Divine Intervention - Where it All Began

Some may call it a "divine intervention". I do believe that there is a reason for everything. I probably would never admit to my mother-in-law that my inspiration began at the monastery in Sigena, Spain, where her daughter (my sister-in-law), is a nun. I'd never hear the end of it if I even hinted about it!  I do believe, though, that there was something magical that happened to me at the monastery in Sigena back in April 2010. That is when I started trying to take good pictures. That is when I began to blossom.

Have I told you about my favorite quote yet?  I want to add it to the header of my blog so it is always there for us to read.


  "And then the came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

- Anaïs Nin

It gives me such inspiration every time I read it, and reminds me that life is about risks. Sometimes we succeed and some time we fail, but whenever we do something a bit risky it makes us feel so alive!

I think this is the image that started it all. It's not perfect, but I will love it for the rest of my life.

These are some of the images I took waaaay back in April. ; ) I still love some of these. Others I look at and think, "what the heck was I thinking?!" with the processing or exposure... and lots of them are out of focus, something I hardly noticed back then.

For a non-posed shot, it can't get much more beautifully biblical. Not such a huge fan of the processing anymore, but I still love the image.

It's amazing to look back at the beginning of a journey and see how far you've come. I think I will start doing this every six months. It really helps me stay encouraged, and affirms that all this hard work is, in fact, paying off!

My poor purple baby. And I sure wish I hadn't cut off Irene's fingers.

Ok, what was I thinking with the color?? Why would I want them to look dead?!

Edgy!

I love this image.

 And the good news is that we are going back tomorrow to spend the weekend!! I can't wait!!! Let's see what kind of images I get this time. I'll post early next week.

Until then, dear friends, have a wonderful weekend!