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| She is a huge fan of crackers. The turkey? Not so much. |
Our Thanksgiving, Sunday November 28th. As I put the mashed potatoes and stuffing into the oven, I caught myself breathing a sigh of relief. "Ah! Thank god I'm almost done with this." After five hours of nearly non-stop cooking and cleaning, I could finally sit down and enjoy the food.
You know what happened, though? The turkey
and the stuffing both came out too dry, and the rice salad was just ok (I found myself really enjoying the wine and canned cranberry sauce, though!). I was bummed. I had worked so hard, and the food was not yummy at all.
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| This is my typical crazy-eyed look. I think it's also my, "thank god, I'm done with this thing" expression. |
I have been thinking about this for the past few days and I think I know what happened. Have any of you read "Like Water for Chocolate" by Laura Esquivel, about the girl who pours all of her emotions into the food she is cooking? I think it's like that. I don't LOVE cooking by any means. Actually, I find it more of a chore, and catch myself looking forward to the end of it (when I get to eat my overly dried, tasteless food). I certainly don't pour any of my love into it.
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| Let's get carvin'! |
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When I realized this, it dawned on me that I live most of my days like that - just getting through the
chores so I can do what I really want to do - play with my kids (I mean really
play - not worry about one of them kicking the other in the head, or worry about discipline or how not correcting bad behavior might end up making them serial killers down the road). I want to go on long walks with my husband and kids, and take beautiful photos and learn as much as I can about photography, and take beautiful photographs... (Wait, did I already say that? ) When I'm doing these things, I'm absorbed with them. I put all of myself into them. Everything. And you know what else? I never seem to have enough time to do them. What I mean is I use up every last second of the time I do have, but it's never enough. I always wish I had
more!
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| I don't know why I love this photo so much. I just really do. |
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| See her little teeth? One of her top teeth popped through too. |
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| Thanksgiving 2010 in Valencia, Spain |
My mom used to tell us that we should put our whole selves into everything we do. I need to reconsider this, because otherwise I feel like I'm just going through the motions, holding on until the moment when I really get to live again. I certainly don't enjoying the less than desirable activities like doing the dishes and hanging the laundry, but, maybe if I put my whole self into them, I would enjoy them more. I really do think it makes a difference.
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| She sticks her tongue out whenever she's happily shy, or just excited. |
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| The most beautiful thing to see on a tv screen |
When someone loves what they do, they never need to tell you so. It's that obvious. You can see it... or taste it... quite literally. Those people who are fortunate enough to make a living out of one of their passions must live a joyful existence. I hope I make it there one day. Until then, I think it's time to pour more of myself into all the rest of it.
4 comments:
Reading this post makes me so happy! It's real life and I LOVE that! Your images are so emotive and real and I feel like I'm there! While your turkey may have been dry, this post is NOT....definitely poured your heart into this! ;)
Exactly! This is perhaps why I loved being back into teaching (though barely) this fall and why I go nuts devoting time to things like organizing advent activities for the kids, I love the teaching part of parenting, it fits the bill until I really get back into it. I am so fikle though that something I wish I could really cook, or really take great photos, and I love those things too. Dishes, laundry not so much...
As a cooking enthusiast, let me assure you that doing it with love and enthusiasm is no guarantee of successful results. Especially when it's a big event that you really want to produce something special for! But I guess it makes it easier to go back and start again, and try to learn from it. So I think you're absolutely right that the way forwards is to try to love what you do. I'm going to give it a try myself! :D
This year we tried this recipe that sounded so great. Acorn squash stuffed with cranberries, apples and onions. I was really disappointed, I can't seem to get the squash done properly, although the stuffing was great. I'm lucky, I only cook when I want to. To HAVE to cook makes it a chore and loving that is very tough. But you're on the right track I think. Love the photo of Alex with the carving knife. Happy Turkey Day
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